All men need a mummy!!!!

Something that has always concerned me is that of men and their incapacity to become emotionally attached, or perhaps it was just the ones I seemed to attract, lol.

Women!!!!......all we seem to say is how men are unable to commit on an emotional level or communicate their emotions and feelings clearly. I feel sorry for the men as they really do seem to get the brunt of our outrage as if it is ALL their fault!!!

But now I beg to differ and I have well and truly got the man dem's back.

On reading a book on raising boys to help me as a single mother to raise my own
son to become a well adjusted young man, it explains how boys need certain things at certain times in their childhood.

From age 0-6 they need the love from their mother who will show them that the world is a beautiful welcoming place to be in. He will need strong love and security.

From the ages of 6-14 is when the boy wants to be a man, a big boy. He will look to his father to set an example and should develop playfulness and kindness and become comfortable about being male.

Between the ages of 14 to adult the boy will need input from external male mentors to find his place as a man within the world and the adult community.

It is very important that throughout all of these stages the boys mother expresses warmth and affection towards him and helps the boy to understand and express his emotions clearly. If she is not around or unable to do this the boy will shut down that part of him that connects with his emotional mother and he will grow up to become emotionally restricted and have trouble expressing warmth or tenderness to his own children and partner. All very uncool stuff with a rippling effect I'm sure you will agree.

What these men then need as adults is to find a woman who can help them to feel emotional again. They technically need a woman who can re-parent them and help them to understand, re-connect with and communicate their emotions. But unfortunately because many of us women are brought up with our father's who are emotionally disconnected and who do not show us the correct security, warmth and tenderness as children we look towards the man in our life to fill what we missed out on as little girls and we completely miss the whole picture. We are looking for a daddy whilst the man in our life is looking for a mummy!

OK, you can argue that "why should it be the woman who see's the whole picture, why can it not be the man?" and my answer would be that it takes someone to be the adult in all situations and playing tit for tat gets us nowhere. Women make natural mothers. They grow up with baby dolls and their natural body chemical make up creates a connection with their child as they are the ones who grow them and give birth to them, so it is much easier for a woman to be a mother than it is for a man to be a father.

It is desired that a man be a man but all men still need a mummy and I believe that as women and natural mothers, instead of cursing them for being emotionally stunted and disconnected how about we fill this motherly role and help them reconnect and show warmth, affection and love to our men and then they will repay us by making us the number one woman in their lives and will then naturally become the secure, warm and tender man we desire.

A win win situation all round.

Please note this does not make sense with violent, controlling, very disturbed men who do not just need a mother they need a therapist!!! In these cases if it is causing you any distress and it is unhealthy for you to stick around then the best thing to do is to get out of there.... FAST.