How do we love?

Different people show love in different ways. Different people also like to be loved in different ways.

The ways in which a person likes to love another and how they prefer to be loved by others depends on a number of different factors including past experiences, upbringing and the feelings that they attach to the gifts of love!

There are 5 different love languages which are gifts of love that a person gives to another as an expression of love.

They are:
1: Words
2: Touch
3: Gifts of materialistic value
4: Acts of service
5: Quality time spent together

Words include nice kind words of any form. Any words that make the person they are being said to feel nice and good about themselves are in affect making that person feel loved. It is not just a simple "I love you" although this does of course mean a lot. They can be said verbally, via email, text message, written in a letter and even on facebook but nothing makes more of an impact than verbally in person as around 95% of all communication is non verbal, they are in the body language and tone of voice which can not be captured if the person is not there in front of you.

Touch includes a cuddle, a kiss, to hold hands whilst out in public, to wipe a smudge off their face, to pick a bit of fluff out of their hair, to treat them to a soothing massage after a stressful day and of course a little slap and tickle, wink wink nudge nudge ;-) The human touch can have such an impact on another being as there are so many sensory nerves that are situated in the layers of the skin.

Gifts of materialistic value of course include anything materialistic that is given to a person. A bunch of flowers and chocolates, a new handbag, new shoes, to buy dinner for them or to make something with their own hands probably would mean a little more as it has included the time and effort and the thought involved in making it. Gifts like these should always be acknowledged and appreciation shown.

Acts of service include doing something for another. To iron their clothes, to cut the garden, to cook a meal, to wash their clothes, to make a telephone call on their behalf, to fix their car. You get my gist, it is to help or do things for them in any way. These actions should also be acknowledged and appreciation show or else the person giving them will feel exhausted and drained and may resent doing them and could withold doing them in the future.

And finally quality time together means to sit down and talk about your day and to really listen to the other while they talk. To do anything where your undevided time and attention are devoted to the other person.

When a person is able to analyze how they like to be loved they are able to communicate to another how that person can love them in a way that is best received by them.

The same can also go for analyzing how we like to love others.
If, for example, a woman likes to care for and look after and cook and clean for her man as a way of loving him but he prefers to have a kiss and a cuddle to make him feel loved then conflict can easily arise and he can feel unloved by her.

The same goes for the man who buys his woman lots of presents and flowers when all she wants is quality time and to hear words from him that express his love for her!

To give love to another in a way in which they do not prefer to recieve it is like speaking German to an Englishman. Quite clearly they will not understand it and are unable to translate it.

So I challenge you all to look at the list of love languages and tick which you like to receive and which you like to give.

If you do this with your partner then it is clear to see what you can give more of and perhaps what they could acknowledge and appreciate more of in your ways of loving them.

Love is only well received in any form if the recipient likes to receive it in the way in which it is being given???

Food for thought me thinketh!!